


Sixth Time the Charm

by lebensmuede



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Humour, In Love, Jealous, Jealousy, Love, Pining, Romance, everyone knows how she feels about him, james knows how she feels about him, lily is oblivious to her feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:02:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25254277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lebensmuede/pseuds/lebensmuede
Summary: Five times Lily was jealous of James because she was in love with him and the 1 time she finally realized it
Relationships: James - Relationship, James Potter & Lily Evans Potter, James Potter/Lily Evans Potter
Comments: 18
Kudos: 83





	Sixth Time the Charm

**1.**

It happens for the first time in sixth year when Lily catches James helping Henrietta Blackstone on her broom-riding technique. She's on her way to the Quidditch Pitch looking for Sirius of all people when she sees the two of them on the field. Alone. Henrietta has her legs on either side of the broom and a death grip on the handle. James has his arms around her, his hands on Henrietta's as he corrects her grip. Lily sees him whisper something into her ear, and really he can't avoid it with the way he's standing.

Lily feels a tightness in her chest at the sight of the two of them, but she assumes it's because she's out of shape and not because it has anything to do at all with the sight of James wrapped around another girl. James is her friend, and he has a right to be wrapped around whoever he wants, it's no concern of Lily's.

At least that's what she sternly tells herself.

Henrietta is turning red in the face and staring up at James with wide eyes as if he's her hero and something about it puts Lily in a foul mood. She can feel herself scowling and she knows the minute someone so much as breathes wrong around her, she's going to bite their head off.

"James!" she snaps as she marches towards them across the field. Both Henrietta and James jump at the sound. James turns towards Lily, his face immediately lighting up with a smile that crinkles his eyes at the sight of her. His reaction mollifies Lily, although she would never admit it to anyone.

Henrietta, on the other hand, rises slowly in the air. She lets out a squeak of alarm, her hands turning white as she grips the handle of the broom. At the sound, James turns around and jumps, grabbing hold of the end of the broom and pulling Henrietta back to the ground. Lily can't help but stare at James's lanky frame as he stretches and his back muscles bunch up from the exertion and his shirt rides up, showing a sliver of his lower back.

But only because she's making sure he doesn't get carried away with Henrietta, forcing her to rescue both of them.

"Have you seen Sirius?" Lily asks once Henrietta is safely back on the ground. She ignores the way James puts his arm around Henrietta and how much she tenses at the sight of it.

"No," James says with a frown. "But I doubt he'd be hanging around an empty Quidditch Pitch. You'd be better off checking the kitchens."

"Kitchens. Kitchens," Lily mutters to herself and with a sigh says, "Alright, thanks."

She spins on her heel and marches away, her head held high on the way to the kitchens to look for Sirius Black. She definitely only stops at the edge of the pitch to make sure Henrietta is okay and not for any other reason.

James pretends he doesn't see Lily glaring daggers at them although he can't help but feel delighted at the sight of a jealous Lily Evans.

**2.**

The second time it happens, Lily is in Hogsmeade with the girls and they're tromping into the Three Broomsticks for some Butterbeer and Lily catches sight of James at the bar, a glass in his hand, the pretty barkeep, Rosmerta blushing as she talks to him. She comes to an abrupt halt in the middle of the only path into the bar and sends her friends crashing into each other as they all walk into her back.

"For fuck's sake Lils, my _nose_!" Dorcas exclaims from right behind Lily. She's far too short to see around Lily's tall frame in the crowded bar.

"What's the holdup?" Marlene barks from her spot at the back. She's bobbing up and down on the spot, trying to see around her friends to the problem with no success.

"James, it's so good to see you!" Andromeda Black yells out, oblivious to the inner turmoil that Lily is experiencing. She pushes her way out of the middle of the group and strides towards James at the bar.

"Dromeda, what a surprise!" James exclaims and throws his arms around her. Rosmerta takes this cue to move onto other patrons who need her attention. "How's Ted?"

"Ted is doing good, the family's not too thrilled about my choice of partner, but what can you do?" Andromeda shrugs. She holds James at arm's length and looks him up and down. "What a handsome young man you've grown into, not the little eleven-year-old with limbs too long for his body anymore now are you?"

"I know the ladies just can't seem to stay away," James lets out a long-suffering sigh. Lily thinks if she clenches her jaw any harder, all of her teeth will break. Meanwhile, Dorcas and Marlene are watching Lily struggle to keep her face relaxed. To anyone unfamiliar with Lily, they might think she is completely at ease, but Marlene and Dorcas are watching the way Lily's jaw is working as if she's chewing on a tough piece of meat.

"I swear one of these days she's gonna snap," Marlene whispers to Dorcas as she stares at Lily in fascination.

"For God's sake woman don't say anything she might eat us," Dorcas hisses back.

"Is there something you'd like to share?" Lily snaps, turning on them, eyes narrowing.

"Oh look, there's an empty table over there!" Dorcas exclaims and before Lily can say anything, she drags Marlene off to claim a spot.

"Come on, Dromeda, the girls found a table," Lily interrupts the reunion between James and Andromeda and tugs on her arm. "James looks a little busy with dear old Rosmerta, we should let him get back to it."

She can't keep the bite from her words. Lily has never had a problem with Rosmerta before, but suddenly she finds the woman incredibly irritating for reasons she is more comfortable not examining. She misses the look that passes between James and Andromeda and heads toward Marlene and Dorcas.

"She's a little slow on the uptake, isn't she?" Andromeda mutters to James before following Lily.

No one mentions the fact that Lily spends the rest of their time seething, glaring daggers at the back of James's head as he laughs (loudly) at the things that Rosmerta says. No one comments when the light bulb hanging over them explodes.

"Don't you just hate loud places?" Lily grumbles when they finally leave. She finds the biting winter wind that hits her when they exit the Three Broomsticks to be refreshing to her burning skin.

"I thought that was one of your favourite things about the Three Broomsticks?" Andromeda comments, as she tromps through the piles of snow shovelled to the side.

"No, I hate it, you can't hear anything that anyone is saying unless you're right up in their face," Lily goes on, the image of James's face only centimeters away from Rosmerta's flushed face and sparkling eyes.

"If you ask me, I think that's just an excuse to get close to someone," Andromeda continues on, ignoring the look of thunder on Lily's face. This only sends Lily stalking off at a quick pace, leaving her friends behind.

**3.**

It's in the middle of the summer when Lily has a good day with Petunia that the two of them go out for coffee. At this point in the many years that Lily has known James, it feels as if she has a sixth sense when it comes to his presence. She knows he's there before she's even laid eyes on him.

When she walks into the coffee shop with Petunia, she can immediately tell that James is there before she's even seen him. It's as if there're magnets attached to the two of them, she has no trouble locating him in the small shop. But the smile on her face dims when she catches James, coffee in hand, leaning against the counter laughing with the pretty barista on shift.

There's nothing to suggest there's anything going on between the two of them, absolutely nothing to show that there's anything other than a friendly conversation going on and yet Lily can't stop the jealousy she feels in her heart, because it is jealousy what she's feeling. She hates to admit it to herself, and she'll never admit it aloud to anyone, but she can't deny that she feels territorial when it comes to James.

But she's convinced it's only a friendly territoriality that she feels. She feels the same way regarding Marlene and Dorcas is what she's told herself.

(Although she has never felt this way about either of them, she refuses to think about that.)

She just doesn't like to share what she considers to be hers.

Lily's too wrapped up in thinking about how much she dislikes that James is giving someone the smile he always saves for her. She never stops to question why James is getting coffee in a shop that's only ten minutes away from her house when he lives in Godric's Hollow, which is several hours away.

At the sound of the bell on the door, both James and the barista turn towards Lily and Petunia. James can't hide the look of pleasure on his face at the sight of Lily, and Petunia is confused as to why her sister has suddenly become so tense.

"Lily!" James cries and before she can do much else, he's wrapped her in a hug. She can't stop herself from melting into his chest or inhaling his smell as her arms wrap around him before she can think twice. Lily tries not to think about how much she enjoys pressing her face into James's chest. She tries not to think about how warm and solid he feels or how deliciously large his hands are.

(She is unsuccessful.)

"I can't believe I ran into you here!" James says excitedly. Lily's head is all fuzzy from the feel of James and the smell of soap coming from him; she never thinks that the odds of him running into her at a coffee shop in her neighborhood are actually high.

Petunia looks between the two of them, a thoughtful look on her face as she considers the reaction of her sister before asking, "Lily, who's this?"

It's this that snaps Lily out of her trance and she pulls herself out of James's arms as if she's been electrocuted and clears her throat, embarrassed. "This is my close friend James," Lily says, and she hates how breathless her voice sounds.

"James? You mean that boy you spent years swearing you were gonna throw into the lake for the squid to eat?" Petunia asks, confused.

"The one and same," James agrees cheerfully, his arm around Lily's shoulder as he holds her to his side. The confusion is clearing from Petunia's face the longer she looks at the two, and Lily prays that her sister won't say something insensitive.

For once in her life, Petunia keeps her disgust and disdain over the Magical World in check and is actually civilised, much to Lily's surprise.

"Say Lils, since I've run into you, are you busy the rest of the day, I was thinking we could do something together?" James asks, grinning down at her. Lily can feel rather than see Petunia stiffen next to her, and it's not even a choice she has to think about.

"Sorry, I can't today, I'm spending the day with Petunia, but if we run into each other again, then for sure," Lily says apologetically, ducking out from under James's arm and linking hers with Petunia. "Besides, you seemed like you had plenty to do before we came in."

But when Lily looks behind James to the barista, she finds the girl playing with Sirius's hair. James presses his lips together to keep himself from laughing at the deepening blush on Lily's face.

"You mean Sirius's current summer fling?" James asks as innocently as he can.

"I-well-yes-I didn't see him-" Lily stutters before Petunia comes to her rescue.

"We really have to go, we have a busy day ahead of us," Petunia says, and before Lily can recover from her failed display of pettiness, Petunia has their orders and steered them out of the store. Lily pretends she doesn't see the smug look Sirius throws her way.

"Didn't you say that James boy lived in Godric's Hollow?" Petunia asks as she takes a thoughtful sip of her chilly drink.

"He does," Lily says, surprised that Petunia remembers such a minor detail about James.

"That's far from here isn't it? I wonder what he was doing getting coffee so far from home?" Petunia says nonchalantly, her eyes glued to her sister's face.

"Like he said, visiting Sirius's summer fling," Lily says with a shrug.

"Funny, I don't recall ever asking a friend to tag along when I've hung out with Vernon," Petunia pushes but Lily doesn't respond.

**4.**

James has always been a popular guy with the girls at Hogwarts but Lily has never realized exactly how much until the day Gryffindor wins their first match of the season in her last year and the girls crowd around James, stars in their eyes.

Lily spends the entire game with her heart in her throat, her eyes glued to James as he swerves and dives around the other players. She can't help but gasp every time it looks as if he's about to fall off his broom and can't help but grip the stands when a stray Bludger collides with James's broom and sends him spinning out of control.

When the team wins the game, Lily's fighting against the crush of people to get to the fields to congratulate James, only to find him already surrounded by a mob of girls with the same idea in mind. James can't help but beam at everyone around him as his teammates clap him on the back for a well-played game before heading off to the castle to celebrate.

Some of the excitement begins to seep out of Lily as she watches him accept praise from everyone surrounding him. James gives a word of thanks to every compliment on his well-earned win, blushing a light pink at some compliments he is given.

And Lily can do nothing but stand at the fringes of the mob away from everyone, watching him bask in his glory. She isn't sure when it happened, but James has become one of Lily's closest friends, someone she confides in for everything instead of sighing in irritation over how disruptive he can be. She does not want to lose him, but with so many people vying for James's attention, she isn't sure he feels as close to her as she feels to him. Suddenly she is trying to blink tears out of her eyes as she thinks about the fact that she is the only one between the two of them who feels this way even as her stomach tightens with jealousy at the warring idea that there is someone out there who is closer to James than she is.

She tries not to think about the fact that her sadness is rooted in something a lot deeper than just platonic affection for James. She turns to make her way back to the common room on her own and has only gone a few metres when she hears her name yelled from behind her.

James is jogging towards her, his broom slung over his left shoulder, his right hand raised in a wave to catch her attention.

"Did you enjoy the game?" he asks Lily once he's caught up, beaming down at her, sweat still gleaming on his forehead, James's normally chaotic hair lying flat on his head.

"I-yes," Lily stammers as the two of them resume walking back to the castle. The rest of the school is streaming back to their respective common rooms around them, but as far as she is concerned it might as well just be the two of them walking in that moment.

"I saw you waiting for me, sorry it took me so long, it's hard to shake people off after you win a game," James says to her, leaning in and lowering his voice so the surrounding people can't hear him. Lily tries to ignore the flutter in her stomach or the way her heart is racing, telling herself it's just the leftover adrenaline from the game. But she doesn't have a ready excuse for why she can't look away from James's hazel eyes.

"Oh, I didn't mean to drag you away from everyone, I was just going to congratulate you," Lily says, her hands twisting in her scarf.

"Nonsense I'd rather be around my favourite person," James says looking down at Lily. There's something tender in his expression that Lily doesn't know what to do with, so she looks away before she embarrasses herself like giggling.

Or, heaven forbid, swoon.

James pretends he doesn't see the satisfied look on her face as Lily determinedly avoids eye contact, but says nothing.

**5.**

It isn't that Lily has never thought about her future; she thinks about it constantly. She knows that once she graduates from Hogwarts, she'll go into the Auror department at the Ministry to help fight Voldemort and join the Order. She knows that it'll be hard work and she'll probably have to distance herself from her family to keep them safe. She knows that they will eventually defeat Voldemort and live happily ever after.

But Lily isn't sure of much else.

Marlene talks about how she wants to work in the International Relations department at the Ministry one night while the girls are sitting around the roaring fire and almost everyone else has gone to bed. She dreams of falling in love in a different country, maybe Italy, maybe Paris, maybe Egypt, she's not picky. Lily can hear the wistfulness as Marlene talks about wanting children and being so in love it grosses everyone else out.

Dorcas has a look in her eye as she listens to Marlene talk that Lily doesn't know what to make of. When it's Dorcas's turn she only says that she thinks she might like a small cottage in the countryside with little children running around and vegetables in their backyard. She says that she's not sure what she wants to do for the rest of her life, but she wants to be happy.

And when it's Lily's turn, she isn't sure what to say. She hasn't thought further than the defeat of Voldemort because she assumes it'll take so long to achieve that by the time it happens she will have had time to figure out the rest. She doesn't know if she sees children in her future; she doesn't know if she sees a husband.

(Although her daydreams contain a figure that looks an awful lot like James Potter, but she would rather mow her lawn with scissors before admitting that to anybody.)

"I don't know if I'm suited for marriage and domestic life," Lily says with a sigh. "I like my own company and space too much, I don't think there's anyone I like enough to build that kind of life with."

Lily's staring into the fire and misses the look that passes between Dorcas and Marlene at her words. Lily may have convinced herself that she feels nothing but platonic affection for James but she doesn't see her face the way everyone else does when James is in the room, she doesn't see the way her eyes are always flashing to him or the way they follow him when he moves.

"I wonder where Sirius will be ten years from now?" Marlene wonders out loud, her voice almost too loud for the quiet common room.

"Probably in prison," snorts Dorcas. "That boy gets into far too much trouble for his own good."

"You're absolutely right. I'm willing to bet money James will be married with five kids in ten years if not less," Marlene goes on, glancing at Lily who's trying to hide her frown.

"I reckon his wife will be an absolute supermodel, a tall blonde," Dorcas says, nodding in agreement. She can see Lily shifting uncomfortably in her seat at the prospect, but says nothing.

Lily can see the image vividly in her mind's eye and she doesn't like it. She aggressively dislikes the image of James married to a beautiful woman, looking at her adoringly, a special smile only for her. Her hands curl into fists without her notice when she thinks about children that look like a mix of James and someone else, and she can't help but scowl at her friends.

"Someone as handsome as James, I can definitely see him with a Veela," Dorcas goes on nodding.

"And he's such a gentleman to boot, who wouldn't want to snap him up," Marlene gushes, fully aware of how quickly Lily's mood is souring.

"I think I'm going to bed, I'm absolutely exhausted," Lily announces, cutting the discussion short. Before Dorcas and Marlene can say anything else, Lily is taking the stairs to the girls's dorm by twos, leaving her two friends alone.

"How much longer until she finally gets her head out of her arse and realizes she's half in love with Potter already?" Dorcas asks, shaking her head at the empty couch.

"Can't be long now, Lily can't possibly be _that_ daft to what she feels," Marlene says.

"I think you underestimate how much of a dumbass she is."

**+1**

Lily's world is shattering around her.

"Did you hear Katie Hodgins asked James out on a date?" the girls around her whisper to each other.

"I heard he said yes and they're going for lunch at the Three Broomsticks," another girl replies, nodding her head.

Lily stares at the wall next to her in the common room and blinks blankly at the news. The ground feels as if it will drop out from under her any second. Her stomach is turning at the news that James is going out on a date and she feels as if the next time she opens her mouth, she will vomit.

The very idea of James going out with someone feels so wrong and repulsive to her, it's as if it defies the laws of nature. James cannot possibly be going out with anyone. It disrupts the order of everything in Lily's life. She refuses to think about the fact that she may have to share James's time with someone else, that they will have to spend less time together because he'll be devoting his attention to his _girlfriend_.

The very word leaves a rotten taste on her tongue.

Lily can't stop her face from twisting in disgust, and Marlene, who's reading in the chair right across from her, raises her eyebrows and asks, "Something wrong, Lils?"

"I believe hell has frozen over Marlene," Lily declares distractedly. Her face feels flushed, in fact her entire body feels uncomfortably warm, as if she's suddenly running a fever.

Lily can't stop thinking about how she'll force herself to act glad to see James with someone else, to endure his affection being aimed at someone else, to listen to him call Katie Hodgins irritating pet names without wanting to peel back her own skin. Her thoughts are in such a scramble Lily can barely form a coherent sentence.

It feels fake. Her James cannot possibly have agreed to go out with Katie Hodgins.

And that's when it hits her.

_Her James._

"Oh no," Lily whispers, her hands coming up to her cheeks.

"Things are finally clicking in that thick head of yours?" Marlene asks serenely. She turns a page in her book and continues to read as if a veil isn't lifting before Lily's very eyes.

It is finally hitting Lily just how sickeningly in love she is with James Potter and that she has been for a very long time. He has always been her James, even when she is deluding herself into thinking she feels nothing but friendship for him. All those flairs of jealousy she felt, the way it felt as if the sun was shining on her when James smiled at her, the way she was always trying to make him laugh.

He was her James and always had been. Lily did not want to share James with anyone, she would sooner paint her walls with nail polish than see him doting on someone who wasn't her.

"He's in the Head Offices if you were wondering," Marlene says, interrupting Lily's spiral of doom. Not once does Marlene ever look up from her book.

"I have to go," Lily says, already on the move. She does not remember walking to the Head Offices, Lily does not see any of the paintings in the hallways or even the ground she is walking on, it's as if her body is on autopilot, taking her to wherever James is. She has only enough presence of mind to not sprint.

Lily may be a lovesick fool, but she has enough dignity left to speed walk to the man she is in love with.

She bursts into the Head Offices, breathless, her calves cramping from their exertion, and slams the door shut behind her. James, who is sitting behind the desk looking at a Prefects schedule, jumps at the sound and looks up.

"Lils, what's wrong?" he starts, brows furrowing in concern.

"You can't go out with Katie Hodgins," the words burst out of Lily so rapidly she isn't sure if James understood anything she said. His mouth hangs open as he stares at her in confusion.

"What-"

"You can't go out with her to Hogsmeade, I am in love with you and the very idea of you dating Katie Hodgins or kissing her or holding her hand or giving her nicknames and growing old together and having children and having - oh God I think I'm going to throw up," Lily says in one breath. "You are my favourite person in the whole world James Potter and the idea of sharing you with anyone makes me want to spontaneously combust and I absolutely will not do it do you hear me?"

James sits in his chair, stunned, processing the words that are coming out of Lily's mouth. Lily stands before him, her chest heaving, her face cherry red, eyes wide like a frightened animal. He puts down the sheet of parchment and walks around his table towards Lily, who looks as if she's about to bolt.

There's a twitch to the sides of his mouth and a twinkle in his eye when he puts both of his large hands on both of Lily's arms and says, "Lils, I'm not going out with Katie Hodgins."

"I-what?" she asks in confusion. "But I heard-"

"I know what you heard, but I am not going on a date with Katie Hodgins, much less marrying her," James interrupts and he can no longer stop the triumphant grin from spreading across his face. "In fact, Katie Hodgins never even asked me out."

"But I heard these girls in the common room _say_ -" Lily begins, facing scrunching in confusion.

"Yes, I know what you heard the girls say darling Lils because I was the one who spread the rumour in the first place," James announces proudly. "With Katie's permission, of course, I can't believe you even take anything from the rumour mill seriously."

" _You spread the rumour_ ," Lily starts indignantly. "But why?"

"You seemed like you were struggling to understand what was going on in that head of yours, and you were never going to listen to reason coming from anyone else, so I thought I'd give you a little push in the right direction," James says shrugging. Lily is too busy getting ready to poke him in the eyes to notice how close James has gotten to her, or that he's backed her against a wall.

"I cannot _believe_ -"

"Yes," James interrupts her.

"Yes to what?" Lily asks, distracted from the tirade she was ready to go on.

"Yes, I will go on a date with you Lily Evans, in fact I will go on as many dates as you want me to," James tells her, coming closer still, eyes glued to her lips. James is so close Lily can see the freckles across his cheeks and smell the clean boy smell that's specific to James. She can't stop the anticipation and excitement she feels in her stomach at having him so close, and without thinking about it, she wraps her arms around his waist and pulls him closer still.

"Now how about we make use of this very empty, very private room, and this sturdy wall behind your back?" James asks her.

Lily's sigh and nod of agreement is all he needs to close the distance left between them.

**Author's Note:**

> i know i should be working on my wip but i had to get this out of my system (since my own love-life is as dead as james and lily are). it wasn't supposed to be this long but i had fun writing it and hopefully you had fun reading it. thoughts and other comments are always welcome and appreciated i read all of them.
> 
> cheers.


End file.
